Synagogue Preschool and the Working Mom

Scenario:

Your youngest child, Julia, is ready to enter pre-school, and you want her to attend Beth Am – the same wonderful Jewish nursery school attended by your two older boys.  Seems like a real no-brainer, except there is a real problem.  Unlike the first two times at the school, you are now working almost full-time at a job you truly love.  You really need Julia’s school to have hours extending past 1 pm, but that is pretty rare at a synagogue nursery.  And, don’t even get started on all of the days off from school for the Jewish holidays!  How will you and your husband (mostly you) deal with staying home from work for most of the fall?

As much as you want Julia to receive the same traditional, festive and fun early Jewish education, you think the reality will be to send her to a more secular day school.

WWMJMD?

Fear not, pre-school mom.  We here at MJM have developed three options for you, but unlike our typical WWMJMD stories, we really think at least 2 of the 3 (and maybe even all three) will make you happy.  There is no “hybrid” option that is overwhelmingly the obvious choice (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).  In this story, we think you could do the following:

Option 1: Send her to Beth Am and be fully prepared to re-work your schedule to accommodate, including the hiring of a nanny.

Option 2: Choose another pre-school for Julia.

Option 3: Send her to Beth Am, but organize a parental support group for off days.

Option 1 is going to be difficult, but certainly doable.  You are going to need some help with your job and personal life.  Because the nursery program has shorter hours and more off days, you will need to hire a part-time caregiver to pick up Julia at school, feed her, nap her and play with her until you get home.  You may have to rework your schedule or try to job share if that becomes necessary.  There will be some big sacrifices to make, but with a little patience and a good bit of effort, your Julia could enjoy the same, beautiful early Jewish education as her brothers.

Option 2 may be difficult for you and your husband to consider, but another program does not have to be something extreme.  Have you checked out the nursery program at your local Jewish Community Center (JCC)?  Many JCCs have top-rated pre-schools with excellent hours (certainly the Jewish holiday schedule will still be an issue).  If this does not work for your family, have you thought about a selecting a secular pre-school now and a Jewish Day school beginning in Kindergarten? Or, what about choosing a secular pre-school now and then commencing Hebrew/Torah school in Kindergarten and not waiting until 2nd or 3rd grade like many families do?  This option has so many facets!

Option 3 involves a lot of parent-to-parent networking.  Here is the idea: get about 3 parents to agree to take care of their collective children on a rotating basis.  Every third day off from school, one parent would host each family’s children at her/his house, so that the other parents could keep a more stable work schedule.  It should be very clear, though, before undertaking such an effort, that the non-working-outside-the-home parents should not bear any extra burden or be taken advantage of because of their seemingly “easier” daily schedules. The rotating schedule must be managed in complete fairness.

So all is not lost for the family who wishes to introduce a Jewish education to their little girl.

While the family facing the dilemma of choosing the most meaningful and practical pre-school program can feel confident with any of the above options, there is a lesson within for all of us. Modern Jewish parents need to remember that we, not an institution, hold the key to our child’s lifelong love, appreciation and practice of Judaism. The traditions and values we model and share at home remain the most powerful influence.

 

 

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