My daughter asked me to write a column to her generation coming from a 60ish grandmother (actually, my grandchildren named my Buddee). I hope to give you some hints from years of experience.

I was a second grade teacher before I married. Ten months later I had a daughter. After considering going back to teaching, I got pregnant and 22 months later had another daughter.

Fast forward 39 years, my husband and I have just retired from owning our own business. Can you imagine working with your husband for 30 years…and…staying married? That’s a whole discussion in itself. But now we have great rewards, two fantastic daughters, two successful sons-in-laws, and four super grandchildren.

I’ve learned a lot in my 60 some years. Being the youngest of four daughters I was quiet and dependent. Once I had children with a husband traveled and no family near by, I became the all-encompassing mommy. I became very active in leadership roles in the schools and synagogue (as well as drove car pools and found time to play tennis and mah jongg.)

When my youngest entered kindergarten my husband announced he wanted to go into his own business—one I knew nothing about. He said, “Just help me one year.” Famous last words! Well, 30 years later, we just both retired. So ladies, you see I’ve been on both sides—working in and outside the home. Both jobs are very hard. My daughters still remember my doing the books on my bed at 11pm (pre-computer) after they supposedly were in bed and after the house was straight. Now you have a little snapshot of who I am.

Why should I be telling you about my life and trying to give advice? Well, first, my daughter asked me to and I never turn down my children. And, second, I have been blessed with success in the most important way. My husband and I are very close to our children even though we do not live physically close. We get tremendous nachas (pride/pleasure) from watching them raise their children with the same values and traditions with which they were raised. I even get asked every once in a while for advice. Sometimes they call to report, “Do you know what your grandson/granddaughter did today?” I get ready to enjoy hearing about the torments they did to me come back to them from their children. I often forget to hide my laughter.

So, in future columns, we’ll talk about the importance of being involved in your child’s school, making them feel at home in the synagogue, building self-confidence at an early age, honoring Jewish traditions in the home, talking to your children, and most importantly, listening to them.

And last, let’s talk about you, the Mommy. Enjoy your family. The years go quickly. Make time for yourself. Mah jongg and bridge are fun. Knitting is making a comeback. Tennis is great exercise and afterwards you can go to lunch. And then, we’ll get serious…we’ll talk about being financially knowledgeable and the “need to know.”

So, as my Mama always said, “I wish for you everything you wish for yourself.”

Buddee

By the way, if you have any questions, or have ideas for something you’d like me to write about, email my daughter and she’ll tell me (I’d say to email me, but…well…let’s just say I’d won’t be giving advice on how to use a computer.)

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