I was just speaking with my daughter about what I feel is a very important subject and one we could all benefit from hearing.

School will be starting soon.  Most children will be going into a new grade, many to a new school, be it kindergarten, middle or high school or a new school system.

How, as parents, do we get them ready?  How do we prepare them for this next step?  Of course we buy them the right school supplies, the new clothes.  Perhaps we visit the new school or at least drive by.  But, is this all we should be doing to truly get them ready?

Absolutely not!

When speaking with other grandmothers I hear more and more that today's children have more and more activities and have busier after-school lives than ever before.  But, I also hear the complaint that children today do less and less at home to help.  Very few have assigned responsibilities (in the old days we called these "chores").  And I'm not talking about the moms having to nag about cleaning up or walking the dog.

Children today are very demanding about their material desires.  They feel they need their own cell phones, computers, tvs in their room and the coolest clothes.  And parents are working harder and harder to satisfy these "I needs."

But what do children do in return (other than go to school and hopefully, get good grades)?  What is expected of them?  What part of the family life are they responsible for?

No matter if the mom is a stay-at-home mom with hired help or if she needs to work two jobs and no hired help, children need to have responsbilities assigned to them around the house. 

I have seen toddlers throw their napkins away after dinner or bring their sippy cups to the table.  Those are their "jobs."  All of which are age appropriate.

And what about the older children? Along with the usual jobs of setting and cleaning up the dinner table, walking the dog and especially keeping their room clean and neat, I'm sure there are other jobs that the family would benefit from the help. 

But why, other than the help this is to Mom, should children be made to have certain jobs and responsibilities?  Why?  Because it teaches time allocation and it teaches organization.  Keeping their room neat is not only important so that it looks pretty when the grandparents visit, but a neat room ensures the child has a proper learning and work environment.  Organization is a fundamental skill for all ages and all work. 

Does a typical school day start in your home with your children panicked about finding a shoe or that book that was due at the library?  Things having their place makes for less stress and better learning.

I can hear you say that some people work best the messier their desk.  Maybe so, but I guarantee that's not the majority.  Remove the clutter and you and your family will feel less stressed.

Is it a hassle to nag your children about doing their jobs?  Sure, but the idea is not to nag, but to make it an automatic thing.  Responsibilities, jobs around the home, equals organization of every day life and for most individuals this is a better learning and working environment.

When someone is organized they also can prioritize and manage their time more efficiently.  All of these traits make for successful study (and life) habits.

So, what do you do if they don't respond?  First of all, you must mirror the same habits.  How can you reprimand your child for the way her room looks when your own clothes are strewn around the floor?  Therefore, take a harsh look at your own habits--remember, children learn not by doing as you say, but by doing as you do.

Second, my feeling is if clothes are stuffed in drawers or under the bed, no more new ones.  And here is one you definitely wil not like--if, Mom, you are the only one who feeds the dog or changes the hamster cage, organize a family meeting and say it's time to (perhaps) give the pet to a family who will take care of it. 

Harsh?  Not really.  Just like when the children were small and got a happy face sticker for going to the potty or brushing their teeth, make up a chart of their schedule.  Everything has a time and place.  And no big rewards.  The reward is the character development taking place.

Building organizational skills through responsibility is a lifetime character trait and one that cannot be taught too early.

And you are the teacher!

Have a wonderful school year!!!

As my mother always said, I wish for you everything you wish for yourself.

Buddee

 

By the way, if you have any questions, or have ideas for something you’d like me to write about, email my daughter and she’ll tell me (I’d say to email me, but…well…let’s just say I’d won’t be giving advice on how to use a computer.)

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